With Hair Like This, Who Needs Jury Duty?

The day Danny officially had my website up and running, I got called for Jury Duty.  Although I think the $12 a day would actually boost my grad student bank account, I really didn’t want to go.   But I still decided to answer the 40 question online form honestly, because it is the perfect opportunity for a story.  But I realized that when I answered questions honestly, I didn’t sound like neutral juror #3, I sounded like an insane person.  I am now going to recap what my answers looked like to the lawyers.  So it goes like this…..ahem

“My name is Merry Jett and I am graduate student in history and I like to think.  I think and think and think.  I will think so much nothing will ever get done.  My favorite show is House because I secretly am attracted to psychopaths and sociopaths and if one was on trial I might get so turned on I would not be able to pay attention to the trial.  I also like my cat.  I don’t really think we should punish criminals, but I guess we have to do something with them.  I have a vagina and therefore will only be able to make emotional decisions….which would be good for you lawyer #1 except I have had a bad experience with the law and was a victim of robbery.  Oh great now lawyer #2, is crying because he was certain I was good for the case since I only think with my emotion hole but now he knows I hate criminals and police.  But probably want to have sex with both them.   In the court room.  In conclusion,  I have a star shaved into my head.”

So I waited and very quickly I got an email saying that “My services for Jury Duty were no longer needed.”  REJECTED.  Told my sister and she came up with the cleverest title for my blog.

If they had actually seen me, I think they would have rejected me sooner.  Because I have the awesomest hair on the planet.  Now I have have had many styles including the dying my hair from a box dye, wearing a tranny’s wig, and the self coloring phase which was a blast until my hair decided to just start turning a gross light brown color.  Like it was rejecting all dye and had decided that it would resign itself to slowly wasting away.  Before that though, I did some cool stuff.  Like pink! I ran back to pink like it was a dirty ex boyfriend.  I counted on it to stick to that yellow/orange mess I bleached myself and turn a visually pleasing color.  And then there was blue! Which was good too, except it doesn’t like to fade to a pretty color and I had to re-dye it all the time.  Then there was the time I used all my bottles make a hair masterpiece.  It was a little bit of everything.  After that I tried pieces of color .  But now, I have a secret hair weapon.  No it is not Color Oops (do not use that it smells like rotting eggs and it’s on your head and if you use it you can never escape the smell!)  It’s Laura!!!  Laura is the most awesomest hairstylist that ever was or ever will be.  Since she has done my hair, I seriously think I have become hotter.  There was the subtle touch of purple…and finally her latest and greatest creation…get ready…..the mini merryhawk with shaved stars.  Probably the coolest thing I have ever done to my hair.  She had her fellow stylist friend shave the star, but wearing it out I fell like a rock star!  This hair is just too much for the Tarrant County Court to handle.  This is the kind of hair that makes people think you are shop lifting everything (anthrolopolgie, where would I have hidden that giant candle, up my butt??)  And this is the kind of hair that gets you out of Jury Duty.

This is Laura. She is the coolest, sassiest, fantasmic hairstylist ever.  And if you would like your hair to get you out of Jury Duty please book an appointment with her at

The Moda Salon in Arlington Highlands.

817-732-3733.