10. Excessive ice cream trucks. The one that drove by today just had a yellow siren light on top, ice cream music and no designs on the white van. Seriously up to no good, or just not trying.
9. The scary church signs that say things like “Come be buried in a garden of Jesus love.” And the creepy church that looks like it is set up in an abandoned K-Mart. I swear this is a cult because people who went there used to come into the place I used to get coffee and they were the scariest people I have ever met. ”I gave up everything when I met the Lord. I don’t talk to my family that goes against what the Lord says.” I counted once, and she said Lord 65 times in one conversation.
8. Everywhere I drive I am in a school zone. And cops just follow me and I want to turn and yell “Run my plates, no warrants, no criminal record, and I don’t even have a speeding ticket.”
7. They sent me a city wide paper mailout to let me know it was Earth Day. And told me that it was wasteful to run my air conditioning and use my water.
6. Taking Collins to school past Stilettos (the low end strip club with just a shoe on the sign now), Babydolls (the place is packed starting at 10am until it closes everyday), Jaguars (it has the nicest building and it’s own van parked out front), and classiest of all, the Garbage Dump complete with trash eating seagulls. Technically this is Euless, then Fort Worth, then Arlington but it counts
5. There are like two good places to eat. Thai garden and….well I was going to say Esparzas but that is in Grapevine. Everything else is fast food. Although following the lead of the strip clubs, restaurants open and park a big van dedicated to their place of business and in front of their business. For instance Tequila Rain. Imagine swirling turquoise and silver and old English letters.
4. People read the Bible while running on a treadmill. I think it’s weird that people can read anything and run on a treadmill. I can barely stay on the treadmill let alone read anything
3. There is nothing fun to do in Euless. I don’t think there is even a movie theatre. Now there are movie theatres in Irving, Bedford, Grapevine, Hurst. But the only thing with in walking distance or not 20 minutes away, is the abandoned 99 cent store and the Albertsons. Oh wait and the new Solar Nails place.
2. The Walgreens gives me the wrong medication on a consistent basis. But that happens at UTA too….uh no I don’t need heart pills…are you even looking at my prescription? Um, no I don’t want to keep the heart pills anyway just for funsies.
1. The Post Office asked me if Minneapolis was in the United States. On a separate occasion I used one of the green receipt slips to write down my sister’s address and the postal worker told me how much money I had wasted and how horrible it was that I wrote on that slip of paper without the intention of using it. That those cost the post office money! For about 10 minutes, she lectured me on how evil I truly was before I just said, “I promise I will never write on anything at the post office again.”
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
We lived in Euless for a few years and I agree with every one of those things!! The one upside of living there was that it was the perfect midpoint between Fort Worth and Dallas. And by the way, you forgot the constant drug deals and shootings just outside of everyone’s doors all the time and the Euless police totally playing it down or ignoring them.
Baby Euless is cree-peeee!
You probably already know we call it “Useless.” And in the 1980s, a local radio station promoted the (fictional) Hiney Winery in Euless. Wish I could remember some of the “promotions” to get your Hiney.
Haha, I did forget the shootings! I’m not sure that where that ranks on the list…the post office is currently my number one nemesis. I do like its close to both Dallas and Fort Worth
Don’t forget the bums sitting at the outdoor tables at Starbucks on Main Street. Classy!
I did forget about the bums. But they don’t really make angry. Not like the post office!
“Useless?”……more like, “fabEULESS!” yo merry, you live here too? lets kick it.
I’ve got my disguise Chase, you name the place, I’ll bring the boom box
i hate to tell you this but the thai place is in bedford. so really euless has no good places to eat
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I totally agree , Marryj! let me add a couple: I lived in Euless 24 years ago. The water there is awful. You never veel clean so my roommate and I would go once a week to her parents house in Arlington to take a REAL shower. Also the Euless police officers are the biggest jerks I have ever enountered as far as cops go. Thanks for your humorous commentary on the city of euless.