The Encyclopedia Show

My mind is a chaotic place.  There are little versions of me running around in my brain trying to keep it all together.  There is Rational Merry who does all the important stuff like demanding food, air, exercise, and she makes sure I pay the bills.  She stands in the middle of my brain shaking her head with her arms crossed as the other Merries hustle about.  Worker Bee Merries carry all the words down from my brain to my fingertips and my mouth.  They are tiny Merries that look like ants with little Merry faces.  The other two important Merries are Feelings Merry and File Cabinet Merry.  Feelings Merry wears rainboots and runs around like a toddler, knocking into the worker bees.  She also gets in the way of File Cabinet Merry who is in charge of retrieving information from the files in my brain.  Feelings Merry runs into the filing room and cries and yells and randomly pulls out files, much to the distress of File Cabinet Merry, and rips them up.  This weekend Rational Merry gave Feelings Merry a comfy pillow and a ice cream cone, so File Cabinet Merry could go to the back of the cabinet and access a very dusty file called MYTHOLOGY.

My first experience with mythology was listening to my sister tell me stories about Zeus and Athena.  She was highly entertaining and acted out the myths, which I thought was absolutely fantastic.  And then, I learned a few myths here and there in school.  That was a snoozefest compared to listening to my sister.  This file was also pulled when I saw O Brother Where Art Thou.  Since then, my MYTHOLOGY file has been pushed into the very darkest part of the filing cabinet where it smells like mold and melted rubber bands.

Last night, Courtney invited me to go see a show with her and her roommate Liz in this black box theatre on east 5th street in Austin.  I asked Courtney what it was about, and she wasn’t exactly sure, so I was pretty intrigued to go to a live performance that might have poetry, art, music, or dancing. Courtney slipped away to the bathroom and I took in my surroundings.  The dim roar of the crowd  competed with the song puff the magic dragon, which was playing in the background.  Oh my!  Sitting in my camping chair listening to a creepy acoustic version of this childhood favorite, I turned and looked at this projector screen on the side wall.  It said Robert Unicorn Machine (which I assumed was the name of the show, but I have now been informed it is a popular game).  Then other random mythical figures, including a 50centaur.  (That is a centaur with the head of 50 cent).   The show was actually a weekly thing called The Encyclopedia Show and this week’s theme was mythical beasts.  Ok Filing Cabinet Merry, show me what you got.

This show was like an open mike night/debate contest/drunken party/slam poetry fest.  The first act was a poem about the Chupacabre that was a poem mixed with the Mel Gibson tapes.  I probably could have sat in my chair and just heard the Mel Gibson tapes and I would have been satisfied.  Then Wiki Lake came out and defined mythological terms and how they are gay code for other things, like mermaid=lesbian.  I hadn’t figured out how to turn the flash off my phone, otherwise I would have captured it forever.  And yes, by this point Courtney made it back from the bathroom, in case you were worried.  Some ladies with snakes in their hair were on next and sang a song about turning people into stones.  We were invited to sing along as either Divas or Back-up   While I was watching the show, I wondered what these people do during the day?  I know they probably tone it down for whatever job they have, but I would like to think they have a job that allows them to stay in character.  After all, I was in Austin.  There was also a highly entertaining Night Before Christmas remix poem, by a girl with a tangerine mohawk.  It was pretty much the same Christmas favorite, with more blood, threats, and killing.  Filing Cabinet Merry was delighted when Courtney asked Merry what the Cracken was.  Filing Cabinet Merry thumbed through the mythology folder and found the answer, and ran over to my mouth with the answer.  My favorite part was the woman who sang the siren song about different couples, like Jason and Medea.  She said “Seriously, she ate your babies!”

After the show was over there was a parade.  Yes, a parade.  I think that every day should end in a parade.  I want the giant electric dragon to pick me up from work and drive me around.  And if the Minor Mishap Marching Band isn’t too busy finding bumble-bee costumes, I would like them to follow me around campus.  And every time someone says my name, they break into a song a New Orleans/Punk/Gypsy marching band song.  I especially want the shirtless oboe player to be there.

Watching the band start a parade/conga line down 5th street, the Merries settled down in their little beds to get ready for another day.  Rational Merry hugged Feelings Merry and told her “See, you never know what the day will bring.”