Earlier this week I went temporarily insane and bought a very expensive pair of jeans. Because they are the most awesome pair of jeans I have ever had, I have decided to wear them everyday and have no regrets. So Friday night I had to take my jeans out to parteh. Called up Sassy Pants, and we were like “hey uh yeh, party, pants, bling, dinner, t-shirts, puppets…crafting? Somehow my jeans ended up on a sexy date at Hobby Lobby.
I am not a crafter but I was supervised by the best. She knew what did what: Feathers, poof balls, puff pants, iron things and sparklies. It was hard to decided what to put on my shirt. Especially because there were these people making Beep sounds. One person made a loud BEEP and the other made a small beep. At first we thought they were trying to locate each other, like a weird distress signal. But then it seemed like they were playing Marco Polo. We never actually saw the “Beep” people, so for all I know they could have been robots.
We gathered supplies and head to the check out and suddenly there is a crazy person behind me. Not unusual for me. This 50-60 something woman in a wrist brace came and stood right behind me. Like way too close for comfort.
Lady: ”Oh, I like your hair. Who does it”
Me: ”Thank this lady in Arlington in the Aveda. Do you want her number?”
Lady: ”Oh no I have a girl that’s going to do mine. I’m getting pink (me and sassy exchange glances and she continues) I’m really getting pink. My old hairdresser wouldn’t let me do it because I’m an old lady, but a gal pal of mine is going to do it. Ha. Ha. First they fire the old church lady and then they tell her she can’t get pink hair.”
Me: ”Well I’m sure it will look good…” I am cut off because she starts running her fingers through my hair and shaking it.
Lady: (to her husband) ”See how fun it is? It will go with my butterfly tattoo I’m getting on my shoulder. Ya, didn’t see that coming did you.”
Me: (Nervous laughter) ”Yeah.”
Lady: ”Hope they give me some pain medicine for that. I asked my son if he would.”
Me: ”If you survived childbirth you can get a tattoo. It’s not that painful”
Lady: ”Oh I birthed 3 10lb boys. But I wanted drugs then. (creepy laugh).”
At this point, Sassy and I slowly backed out of the store. She said, “If she wanted to have a drink I’d say why not? She’s got stories!” I just couldn’t believe my sexy jeans got me felt up by an Old Ex-Pastor woman at a Hobby Lobby.
Despite the head groping, it turned out to be a good night. 
I was majorly assisted through my shirt making (Mr. Fitzgerald her kitty also helped me) and it turned out pretty good. It says Zexy Puff. I wanted it to say Snuffy Puff but I didn’t have enough ff’s. It’s a pretty sweet shirt that will now be worn everyday. It has little blue elephants on each of the sleeves and lots of pink glitter and bling. I feel that it can be worn everyday, at the gym, special occasions, job interviews, weddings, Christmas.
However, Sassy made a shirt for finals that tops my shirt hands down. 
There is nothing more inspiring than this shirt. In case you can’t tell what is in between the Words “Team Caligula” is a baby. I wanted her to add the pregnant lady iron on, but she felt that that was probably going too far.
So I my jeans had a good time, but will be looking for more places to go in the future.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
My Hobby Lobby experience was not as cool as yours.
Other than the incest and syphilis, who wouldn’t want to be on Team Caligula?
I sure do
I spent over $100 on cake decorating items (gum paste- fondant- pans, oh my!) on my last trip to Hobby Lobby. Oldest son was with me — I kept saying, “oh, this is cool. let’s get this.” Wonderful son gently put his on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes and softly said: “mom, i think you have enough. It’s only one cake.”
One cake of awesomeness!