Gene Simmons owns the word….

Last night I laid on a tattoo table for several hours and learned three things.

1.  There is a band called Arrested Development that sued the show Arrested Development and won an undisclosed settlement.

2.  Girls that go to SMU like to get little peace signs tattoos

3.  And Gene Simmons owns the word Jell-O and I will probably have to pay him for it’s use in this blog.   (Please have mercy Gene, I’m a grad student)

Why was I not informed that I can own words and charge other people who use them?   Finally!  A way to pay off my student loans.  First, I pick the word yes.  Then create a controversial facebook page and write a book of drinking games with chapters of advice by Heidi Montag.  Milllonairrreee

I’ve learned other things the moments I emerged from my school cocoon.  The post office needs a reality show.  In Euless, there was a poor possibly homeless man looking for his mail.  The postal worker was so patient and gentle, but I was waiting for her head to explode.  The man kept asking for his mail and why they wouldn’t let him have it.  She repeatedly told him that they can’t find mail if you don’t know/have an address.  And he said “This is America.  This land is your land, you know?  America.”  That is hard to argue with.  I think he stood there asking the same question for 20 minutes and eventually he said “Well that just don’t make no sense,” and wandered away.  Then I was told by a friend that there was a trail of blood by the Arlington post office.  Both of us attribute this to the weird shoeless people at UTA.  I don’t know if it is some new trend, laziness, or stupidity, but there is a group of people who walked around barefoot.  To quote my homeless friend “This is America,” and it is not cool to make some poor postal worker mop up your diseased blood.

I’ve also learned the importance of naming your pets.  Petsmart called me to remind me that Kitty had an appointment at 2.  And I said “Oh, I thought he didn’t come in until Saturday?” She paused and said, “Well wait he does have an appointment on Saturday too?”  Then it just got ridiculous.  I explained I had two kitties now and she said but they are both named Kitty.  I told her no, one was named Cinders, but they must have put his name in as Kitty.  And then she said so what is your other cat’s real name?  I said Kitty.  She said “Yes the Kitty.”  I said no, his name is just Kitty not The Kitty.  Unfortunately for her, this went on for several minutes until we finally realized that there were two cats and yes, one of them is named Kitty.  Although maybe I should change his name to The Kitty.  It’s fits his ego.