Capitali$m

After I got finished at the gym this morning, I saw this white Acura with these two bumper stickers.  I assumed this car belonged to a white woman between 35-50, but I only got that partially correct.  As crouched down in the parking lot to snap a quick photo, the owner (a 20 something white, blond girl) of the vehicle came up behind me and said (insert MTVesque/drunk girl at a party voice) “Why are you taking pictures of my car?  Did we have an accident?”  I assured her that no, no accident, but that I just liked her bumper stickers.  She leaned against the car in her Victoria’s Secret PINK pants and said, “Ya, the left one is pink.  And about Christmas.  I like Christmas.”  Restraining myself from laughing, I just said ,”Christmas is the best.  Mostly, your capitali$m sticker caught my eye.”  She said, “Ya, that’s a reallly big issue.”  (Merry nods)  ”I mean if they took that away everyone would be confused.”  (Merry continues nodding)  ”I mean how would we tell who were people and who weren’t, because some people have weird names.”  (Merry nods…wait)  After a second or two I said, “Oh like capitalization?”  She said, “Ya?”  Like I was insane, “What else would it mean?”  (Merry nods slowly, terrified and wondering what this person does for a living.  Hoping it doesn’t involve people)  Right before we parted ways she said, “Plus I liked the $.  I’m all about the bling.”

So I have new cause:  FIGHTING TO KEEP CAPITALIZATION.  If you would like help the cause, leave me a comment and I will provide further instructions about how to keep lower case letters from destroying the world.  Donations accepted.